Smoke On the Window Sill

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Chasing Sunsets....

Yesterday, it was 2 days officially since I returned from my month long vacation to India. Life had started getting back to a different level of normalcy here for me. Strangely enough, this time around I found myself at peace with my niche in this part of the world, much sooner than I would have normally done. Maybe time does that to you - it has been three years since I’ve moved to the US and the empty home that I’ve created for myself here, has started becoming as special as the home that I left behind....

It was 7:30 in the evening, when I came back from the gym and realized that I have the rest of the evening to kill - all by myself. I felt like going out for a drive. Picked up the car keys, rushed down the stairs and got myself behind the wheels. No sooner than I did that, I realized how much I had missed getting my hands on the steering earlier.....

I started driving west, down a new route I had never explored before. It was a not so hot day and coming back from the sizzling Delhi anyways made me appreciate the weather of my small town here more since the last 2 days. It was a nice stretch of road - better than what I had anticipated it to be. The road was narrow, with green trees falling down halfway in the front, on either side, making me wonder how this sight would look like in fall - but it was summers instead and I didn’t seem to be minding it one bit! The traffic was minimal and I looked like the only person traveling on a jaded summer evening on this route. The road was winding and went up a few miles before going down another few. The weather was strangely pleasant and I had rolled down the car windows to take all the fresh air in......

Several miles into my drive, a sudden brightness hit me straight in my face. I had to lower the sun shades to see what lay ahead! There - right in front of me - was a huge orange blob of the evening sun, stealthily going down, behind the road uphill. The road winded a little and the sun disappeared behind the trees, but before it did so, I caught faint streaks of some colours in the pale sky. This happened a couple of times. Every time I thought I would come face to face with the sun, the road would wind in another direction, leaving me disappointed. I had come a long way from where I had started, and it was already getting late. For an instant I thought I should go back, but someone inside of me didn’t want to go home this day. My eyes were racing ahead, trying hard to beat the one playing hide and seek with me today! But I was determined, not to loose......

Slowly, I started leaving the civilization behind. All I could see were farmlands on both sides - lush green grass and even greener trees. Small houses scattered here and there, each after a couple of miles. Still, no one on the roads. There was a certain calmness about the drive, which was becoming more and more difficult to take in! A road side sign signalled a sharp left turn ahead. I lowered the thrust on my gas pedal and took the sweeping left turn. Even before I could hit the speed again, my heart beat started racing fast - had I caught a glimpse of something on the right? My eyes started searching behind the veil of the trees boasting the road side. Almost an instant later, the trees disappeared as if defying their very existence earlier - and what came into view, just left me in awe.....

A huuuge piece of lush green farmland on my right.......a small cottage situated in the middle - and there, behind the cottage and all around it, was the most beautiful mix of deep orange and nascent vermilion, filling almost the entire visible evening sky. A narrow path was leading inwards into the farm. I knew it was illegal entering into somone’s property like this, but I just had to stop. I drove into that narrow path, turned off the ignition and just stared at the sight in front of me - in one breath. There was nothing else that I wanted from this evening. It was quiet and colourful - both at the same time! As if the picture was already not perfect enough, a huge swarm of birds came out from nowhere, in front of the blessed cottage, and painted a brush of reality to what I was seeing. I could feel a rush of blood in my veins, aching to match the intensity of the innocent beauty scattered all around me. I hadn’t felt this close to myself in an eternity - an eternity, perhaps longer than my lifetime....

I stayed just like that for quite a while and when I checked my watch, it was 8:30. Backed my car out of the farm, down the road where I came from. I could still spot the haunting shade of vermilion in my rear view mirror - perhaps, beckoning me to come back! I couldn’t take the stillness of the evening any more, switched on my cd player. In an instant music filled the air with......

Aa bhi jaa, aa bhi jaa, ae subaah aa bhi jaa
Raat ko kar vida, dilruba aa bhi jaa

Mere, mere dil ke paagalpan ki
seema kya hai?
Yun to tu hai meri,
chaaya tujh mein, tera kya hai?

Main hun gagan tu hai zameen,
adhoori si mere bina
Raat ko kar vida,
dilruba aa bhi jaa...

I smiled and bid adieu to this beautiful moment - frozen in time, driving on towards the unknown and the unseen......