I am driving down west again, today. The stillness of the other day has vanished into thin air. There is an oncoming storm down south, they say. There is one brewing right here – in my heart. I no longer pay attention to the roads I follow these days.....just take the ones which take me closer and closer to the setting sun.......I no longer bother to ask myself why....just follow that gut feeling deep down somewhere and do just fine....
I do the same today. After driving for half an hour, when I stop, I have the full view of the grayish orange sky in the front. There is a distant chirping of the birds somewhere, to my right...I look in that direction and see three girls, walking towards me, holding hands - the eldest one in the middle, the younger ones on the sides. I notice they’re carrying a bunch of flowers in their hands. I turn around – and realize -
I’m standing in front of a graveyard....
I’m surprised to say the least. I don’t know what led me down this path today, but it is perhaps where I really wanted to be. I go further down into the cemetery, and there, besides hundreds of people, whom I’ve never met - I bid farewell to one more, in my heart. Another someone I’ve never seen or met, but whose pain I’ve felt, all these days, through a friend’s aching heart....
A had called, several days ago....his dad.....they had lost him to cancer.
There are just too many memories of him strewn all around the house.... he had said.
It’s hard to get used to his absence - feels like he is gone just out of house and will return soon.... But he never will.
His words kept going round and round in my head....for days....They had been together for 42 years....his parents.....and loved each other a lot. I was always amazed by the special relationship that they shared, maybe because I have never seen one, in my home. There were cracks in those walls, where I lived, for 18 years......cracks which were perhaps never to mend......
I am shaken from my reverie by a phone call. It’s A on the other line. We talk for a few minutes, and then, when I keep the phone down, I realize - there are tears in my eyes waiting to touch the ground.....I don’t hold them back this time around, and let them fall.....they fall and bite the dust.....
I look around, those girls are nowhere to be seen......the vermilion of the setting sun is shining brightly against the black metal of my car. The chirping of the birds too has stopped.....the stillness of the cemetery is strangely soothing to my ears. It’s time to go back.....I bid a final adieu to the man I’ve never met and never will, and move on........
